What Can You Do When Your Senior Says She Doesn’t Want to Be a Burden?

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A common refrain from aging family members is that they don’t want to be a burden to their family members. That can mean something slightly different for each aging adult, but the idea is the same. There’s something that you need to solve for your senior.

Picture of a senior lady with her friendly caregiver in the park back view


Get Some Information

The first step when your senior is making these noises is to get some information. Why does she feel as if she’s becoming a burden? And how is that changing her behavior? It’s possible that she’s becoming more stubborn and keeping you out of some of the decisions that you need to be involved in. Get as much information as you can.

Have the Tough Discussions

This also means that you’re going to have to have some difficult discussions with your aging family member. Sit down with her and talk to her about what’s going on, what’s scaring her, and what you want to do for her. You’re going to need to be firm but loving and understanding. This is definitely going to be difficult for both of you, but it’s something you need to do.

Get Realistic about What Is Going On

Now is not the time to deal in the ideal. It’s time to be as realistic as possible. Is your senior’s safety at risk? That’s what needs to be addressed. It’s possible that driving is becoming a problem for her, for instance. That means that you’re going to have to find real solutions that address that issue as it is, not how either of you wish that it were.

Put Some Help in Place for Both of You

Some of these situations might involve getting help for both you and your aging adult. In the case of her driving, home care providers could take over the driving for her. That keeps her as mobile as she wants to be, but solves the immediate issue, which is that driving isn’t safe for her. The solutions that you offer need to be realistic and feasible solutions that show your senior that she’s not a burden and that her needs are important.

The idea of your senior becoming a burden can be a strong one for her and it can be difficult for you to overcome together. What you want most is for your aging family member to be safe and to be happy, so it’s up to you to convince her how you can get there as a team.

If you or a family member are in need of Home Care in Tamarac, FL, call the caring professionals at Star Multi Care today at (954) 870-4770.
Providing service in Boca Raton, West Palm Beach, Delray Beach, Boynton Beach, Weston, Southwest Ranches, Pembroke Pines, Cooper City, Lighthouse Point, and Wilton Manors.

About the author: Stephen Sternbach
Stephen Sternbach has been the Chairman of the Board of Directors, President, and Chief Executive Officer of Star Multi Care Services since 1987. After the sale of the New York and New Jersey operations of Star Multi Care Services, Sternbach brought the company private where he remains President and CEO of this newly developed $22M home healthcare company. With Sternbach at the helm, Star Multi Care Services employs more than 550 employees, in six offices throughout Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio and New York. From 1978 to 1986, Sternbach was associated with Automated Data Processing, Inc. (“ADP”)–a provider of information services, where he held several marketing positions before becoming the Director of Sales. 1999-2008 Sternbach was an active participant on the Board of Directors for Proginet–a computer software company based in Garden City, New York. He also served on the Board of Trustees of the Long Island Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society from 1996-2002. In 1996, Stephen Sternbach was named “Entrepreneur of the Year” by Ernst & Young, Paine Webber and NASDAQ. Sternbach was also named in Crain’s New York Business Article, “40 Under 40” Successful Business Executives/Future Business Leaders in 1995. While maintaining a diversity of business and personal interests, Sternbach concentrated most of his efforts over the past 28 years towards continuously improving the quality of services delivered by the Star Multi Care Services’ family of companies. Stephen Sternbach holds a Master of Public Administration from Syracuse University – Maxwell School of Public Administration and a Bachelor of Arts in Industrial Relations and Personnel Administration from Ithaca College.