A common refrain from aging family members is that they don’t want to be a burden to their family members. That can mean something slightly different for each aging adult, but the idea is the same. There’s something that you need to solve for your senior.
Get Some Information
The first step when your senior is making these noises is to get some information. Why does she feel as if she’s becoming a burden? And how is that changing her behavior? It’s possible that she’s becoming more stubborn and keeping you out of some of the decisions that you need to be involved in. Get as much information as you can.
Have the Tough Discussions
This also means that you’re going to have to have some difficult discussions with your aging family member. Sit down with her and talk to her about what’s going on, what’s scaring her, and what you want to do for her. You’re going to need to be firm but loving and understanding. This is definitely going to be difficult for both of you, but it’s something you need to do.
Get Realistic about What Is Going On
Now is not the time to deal in the ideal. It’s time to be as realistic as possible. Is your senior’s safety at risk? That’s what needs to be addressed. It’s possible that driving is becoming a problem for her, for instance. That means that you’re going to have to find real solutions that address that issue as it is, not how either of you wish that it were.
Put Some Help in Place for Both of You
Some of these situations might involve getting help for both you and your aging adult. In the case of her driving, home care providers could take over the driving for her. That keeps her as mobile as she wants to be, but solves the immediate issue, which is that driving isn’t safe for her. The solutions that you offer need to be realistic and feasible solutions that show your senior that she’s not a burden and that her needs are important.
The idea of your senior becoming a burden can be a strong one for her and it can be difficult for you to overcome together. What you want most is for your aging family member to be safe and to be happy, so it’s up to you to convince her how you can get there as a team.